Saturday, November 16, 2013

the six of cups

This is the Six of Cups. It symbolizes childhood and memories and nostalgia.

I was sitting at my writing desk today, going over and over something in my mind. There's a really important decision that I need to make. I’m usually pretty good at making decisions; for the most part, I’m the kind of person who knows what she wants to do and then does it. But this decision had me stuck.

So I sat at my desk, staring out the window, and reached for the unused tarot deck on the sill. I’ve never really been a believer in new age spirituality. (Are we still calling it that? I'm not sure.) For a significant period of my life, I was actually taught that tarot cards were evil - sad, I know. Anyways. I really only own this particular deck because the illustrations are gorgeous and I wanted to look at the pictures.

But as this decision loomed over me, I thought: Why not?

So I reached for the deck. I shuffled and cut. And then I drew a card: the Six of Cups.

I had no idea what that meant. But the moment I saw the image, I sat up and looked harder. Because of the tree, definitely. But more so because of the roots: prominent and important and vividly colourful.

It's hard to explain the significance of a tree (and one with emphasis on its roots) in this decision without launching into all the details - which I'm not at liberty to do. So you'll just have to trust me: this is a decision about trees and roots and rooted-ness. It's one that has to do with something that I left behind in the place where I grew up.
When I pulled out that card, I was definitely leaning in one direction. But after I pulled it, even as I resisted it, I knew I needed to go in the other direction. I needed to go back.

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